The Winds of Change
I can feel myself changing in a manner I don’t think I’ve ever quite experienced before. This metamorphosis is thrilling but also comes with reservation. I’ve never been a fan of simply letting old things go yet this time around, that need is starting to fade. Its as if I somehow want to let them go. So many unanswered questions remain. I feel like I haven’t had enough time to digest the ideas, emotions and concepts that had overtaken me for so long. Alas it seems the train is boarding and I must get on to advance to my new destination. I bid farewell to these old concepts with the promise that I will return to them one day to figure everything out but for now, I’m moving along.
I’m turning 26 this year which is a hard number to swallow for me. Its almost surreal and I’m sure there is some essence of denial within me about getting that much closer to 30. It’s been a scary thought but oddly enough in the past couple months that has begun to change. Up until this point I’ve felt my teenage angst and boyish attitude and ideas dominate my mind and life. Although in a general sense I feel no different then I did when I was younger when it comes to who I am as a person, I feel these seemingly childish notions, ideas and behaviour slipping away from me. For the first time in my life, I am starting to feel, think and act like a man. What a strange place to arrive.
I had always desired strength, wisdom, experience and achievement but was unable to truly attain such things as my previous self. I had too many restrictions, reservations, hindrances and especially fear. I find myself moving now in a direction with a bold ambition. I have no fear. I have no regrets. I have today and I have tomorrow. I have realized that my fulfilment in life comes simply from my simple choice to be happy and do the things that make me happy. I’ve realized that my life is best when I am living it for those that I love. I’ve realized that finding contentment and gratitude in the simplest things brings me such a pure and lasting joy. I’ve realized that if I want to be strong then I must work at being stronger and the objective is not to build my life overnight but to lay the perfect brick each and every single day.
These are both strange and amazing times for me. I feel as if the power to change anything and everything in my life lies solely in my own hands. I wasn’t before but now I am ready to step forward with certainty in the direction I must go. My thirst for adventures reignites and my love for life grows. My childhood eyes return and I once again see the word in wonder and magic. I am not bound by my past or restricted by my future. I am whatever I choose to be and right now I choose to be alive and well, blessed beyond comparison with good friends, a good life and the knowledge that whatever I set my mind to, I can achieve.