on
November 11, 2018

Adjusting to this sense of calm and peacefulness despite observing the unpredictable storm around me, has been interesting. It’s as if my sense of trust and surrender in the Universe is coming more naturally and without effort. Despite all of the things I see around me that would seek to shake my focus and remove me from the path which I desire to travel, my gaze is set on the hope I have for the future. Perhaps from this mindset or perhaps from something else, life seems to be responding in a positive way. Good things are happening and I have such a clear sense of peace and contentment right now with the Universe showing me that I am right where I am supposed to be.

The road of change is long and challenging. Change always starts with intention but it takes repeated action and time to come to fruition and to see that new reflection staring back at you. With each passing day, I can feel my older self fade more and more, like waking from a dream. There is still this part of me that feels the urge to reach out and latch onto that which is fading but the me I am becoming, softly encourages myself to keep moving forward and surrender that need to hold on. The past still weighs heavily upon me but I no longer crumble under its weight. I have gained the strength to push forward. Still though, balancing my youth and the transition into manhood continues to be challenging, as I’m sure it is for most. I think of the friends and life of old and how present day so clearly shows that these things have all passed. Whatever was before is no more. Despite that though, it also shows what could be and what is. Such is the evolution of our lives I suppose. Growth and change require sacrifice and pain. We must give to receive. That much has become clear.

So now I consciously choose each day where I want my mind to rest. I can’t always choose the thoughts and feelings that enter it but I am learning to replace them consciously when I know they do not serve me. I have worked hard to no longer be enslaved by my emotions. Although I still fight for my freedom daily, my victories grow in number. Amongst the challenge of each day a brewing optimism and excitement bubbles within me. It is some kind of unspoken understanding that good things are in the process of becoming and it makes me giddy at the thought as well as motivates me to continue in the direction I am.

All I’ve ever wanted in this life has been love, peace and connection. For the first time, I feel as if these concepts, once so far out of reach, are now within my grasp. I don’t fear losing them because I have no room for fear when gratitude is all that fills my heart. So as the sun rises on this new chapter of life, I awaken to meet its life-giving light. What adventures lay on the horizon? What elements of self-discovery lie just ahead? What cherished connections and intimate moments ready themselves in anticipation for me? This is my story but now, perhaps for the first time, I hold the pen.

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