+ || Lost & Forgotten || +

March 6, 2010
what happened to before?

I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused in regards to what direction my life should take right now. Everything is so up in the air. Nothing is as satisfying as it used to be. Things I used to take comfort in now disgust me. Even if my habits were unhealthy, what now I am supposed to do with myself if I can no longer take relief from my traditional techniques?

It feels like I’m seeking something deeper, but what? I pursue that statement with no success. What is it that I truly want? Money? Success? Love? I don’t even know. I desire only to do well. To live to my full potential and thrive. But where is the balance between the past and the present? Friends, lifestyle, routine…change, time and experience – all these things combine to form some weird void that I seem to be stuck in. I feel like I can’t move on until my questions are answered. I feel like I can’t answer my questions until I move on.


Where is the balance.
Can the old be remade anew?
Or must I accept the world and its inhabits as things in a constant state of change. The answer to all these questions would be that nothing ever stays the same. But am I truly ready to accept that as my answer..or do I need more?