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A box full of thoughts that you tried to forget.

on
October 26, 2007

your eyes used to tell a story that your lips would never speak
the excitement in your voice and the red flush on your cheek
you used to dwell on thoughts of maybe something more
you used to feel feelings that you’d never felt before

your mind, it couldn’t take it and neither could your heart
and I know you wanted to say it without it falling apart
you took one step forward and lit a cigarette for luck
only to find yourself empty, asking what the fuck?

so you collected all your thoughts and put them in a box
you taped it completely shut while sitting in your socks
you stored it in the corner of the very farthest place
that your heart had available but had little extra space

time continued ticking like an old annoying clock
and all the while doing so, prevented you to talk
about the box you stored away and wanted to forget
and thats how you became the saddest person I’d ever met

I knew about this box you had stored somewhere in your head
I’d think about it every night before I’d go to bed
then one day I found myself standing in awe of you
and I began to wonder if these feeling I had were true

I thought I’d take some time to organize my mind
and hopefully find the meaning to all these things inside
I wanted to be cautious if I was going to rifle through your things
I didn’t know exactly what opening this box would bring

so I rolled up my sleeves while taking fourteen deep breaths
as I  rummaged through your things and what feelings you had left
the contents of that box were exactly as I predicted
old emotions and a heart that simply read “restricted”

I closed my eyes and sighed because I knew it wasn’t right
and I knew I would have to tell you that at a certain point tonight
I left that box still open with things scattered everywhere
I’m sorry for the mess I made, it’s not that I didn’t care

I’m sorry for provoking whatever love that you had left
maybe if its gone, it might be for the best
I want something more just like I know you do
but I think your not for me and I just think I’m not for you

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