so perhaps I may keep xanga a little longer then I had orignally planned.
well were approaching the end of this school year, and sadly my last year. you don’t hear to many people complain about grading and I never did, until a few months ago. I guess I just realized how much I’m going to miss all these people that I’ve grown up with for years and am now, NOT going to see everyday like I always did. I feel almost as if I took them for granted for all these years, and now its to late, I can’t go back and change anything, I just have to accept what is happening and move on with it.
oh man there are so many memories from HCS. from grade 2 until grade 12, I can’t even begin to imagine how long it would take me to review all of them. student council retreats, birthday parties, high school drama, love, hate, relationships…the list goes on…forever.
everything that mattered before is slowly loosing its importance in my life. all these things that had such a grip on my life, things that just wouldn’t let me move on with anything…they are slowly leaving and I’m feeling better.
I cant talk about it anymore, because its something that seems like its “off limits” now or something unbelievabley strange like that. I think there will always be a part of me thats thankful that it all happened and part of me that wishes I had never turned around the one day. either way, it’s something that will stick with me for a long time yet I’m sure.
I’ve been moping around in this depressive state for the last few months now. just the whole thought of grading seemed like some pathetic tragety I had to undergo in order to advance into what they call “real life”. I have so many regrets, so many things I wanted to do and will now never get the chance to do them. I guess I should just be thankful for what I have to take with me into life.
sometimes I just miss the old days, where everything seemed to be so much easier, carefree or normal maybe? even if it really wasn’t, at least it felt that way. I dont know what the word is. all I know is there used to be a time where things seemed so right.
oh but what a deceptive fairy tale we live in.
I like ranting like this, I think I’ll do it more often, even if no one reads this, at least I’ll get a chance to be emo every once and awhile and express my thoughts and feelings on an online journey for your viewing pleasure. anyways I’ll see all you kids at morning star next year.
kids, haha….yes your nothing but mindless children mwahaha.
thought I was gone for good eh? think again. I’ll never be gone, I own that school. wERD. haha?