November 14, 2006
bitterness is killing me…

calgary is a negative. I went. I saw. I left. don’t get me wrong, it looks like a great place to be however, current and upcoming circumstances are preventing me from my immident departure, so it looks like I will be sticking around for yet a little while longer.

honestly though, I don’t want to be here. In fact, I don’t know if I want to be anywhere. I wish I could just cease to exist, just one day wake up and realize I didn’t.

life is stupid right now, not that anyone gives a flying f***. currently finding out who my true friends are and wow is it an eye opener. turns out you can’t really trust anyone…go figure.

I am finding myself injected with a new bitterness every day. I’m begining to hate everyone and everything and I don’t like it. at this point in my life, it would seem that I have been dealt a crappy pair of cards to win a game where everything is at stake. of course anyone who plays cards knows what that means. it means I’m forced to head in a direction I don’t want to take. I want to better my life but that’s a little hard when you don’t have one.

why am I writing down what I’m feeling for all to see? good question and one that I don’t really even know the answer to. perhaps informing everyone of how I’m feeling relieves some of the tention that I have growing inside of me.

anyways I’m going to go and do what I do. which is nothing.


November 2, 2006

December 2, 2006

  1. Reply


    November 14, 2006

    well i hope you haven’t suddenly realized that i’m not a true friend…
    because that would suck.

    and i totally forgot to call you and scott for monday night gaming.. ARHG!
    i went to go see “Borat” at like 3:30 then i was sidetracked and totally forgot.

    One thousand apologise from my sorrow filled heart.

  2. Reply


    November 14, 2006

    get your email?

  3. Reply


    November 14, 2006

    how does edmonton sound? winnipeg? haha. thats sad. too bad it didn’t work out. at least i’ll get to see you around school if you come and visit. God bless.

  4. Reply


    November 15, 2006

    Hey Wunderkind,
    Time for a good meal and movie with friends… transition seems to go down better with good food, talk and sleep. I still enjoy making curry… and the TV is wide screen, and my ears still seem to be working…

  5. Reply


    November 15, 2006

    Cheer up my friend. Cheer up. Things aren’t as dismal as you’re making them. You have many good friends, just look around you. Who are the friends who are supporting you and encouraging you? You’ll figure it all out, just cheer up and don’t lose hope. God will help you find your path.

  6. Reply


    November 15, 2006

    PS. Calgary, the “Concrete Jungle” sucks anyhow. 😉

  7. Reply


    November 15, 2006

    Sorry it didn’t work out for you, but if it helps at all, there are a lot of people who didn’t want you to leave in the first place that you don’t even know.  Many people look up to you, including your siblings and myself.  So, I’m glad you aren’t going… but someday, I hope everything works out for you.

  8. Reply


    November 15, 2006

    Hey, Brando. Cheer up, man. I’m still your pal. That’s worth something, right?

    …Right? Anywho, I’m sure you’ll do fine with your life. Bitterness is a poison anyway. So, fuck it. Life’ll get better soon. I know it will.

  9. Reply


    November 16, 2006

    Alright laddy,

    I’m with Scott and Wesley big time on this.

    It may seem as bad as it seems, but it’s not quite there yet. Dude… 18 years old man. You got a bloody long way to go before your life can truly be in the gutter.

    Bitterness… I’ve never fully listened to people when the talk about “harboring bitterness” but I know that it’s not good for you buddy.

    “turns out you can’t really trust anyone”? C’mon now. There’s plenty o’ trust-worthy blokes out there.

    Alrighty then.

    We’ll see eachothers faces again, before too long.

  10. Reply


    November 16, 2006

    hy Brandon,

    you should know better than that. You have friends, they are all around you. I mean like Zach said you’r just 18, and you are already giving up? I know you better than that, you are a fighter, just look back on your past life, what you already been through as a winner. Don’t give up now!…..True people can be desiving, but what about forgiving, love, and compassion?….There will always be someone there for you, if you believe it or not. Love yah lots.

  11. Reply


    November 17, 2006

    heyy brandon…don’t start looking to the negative , it will only drag you down. some times in life it’s easyer to give up like your talking about, to let life eliminate you….but trust me in this and i know  in your  heart you know it to…it’s our pure lazzyness and weekness that wants to give up. We’ve bolth been through alot in life and i can relate to you in many areas and i know that you can do it it’s just another character building block that we hate ever so much but in the end if you don’t give up…you WiLL come out on top and you Will be fine. any ways i have to run, you know my number call anytime. luv yah 

  12. Reply


    November 18, 2006

    hey man.
    what the fuck, dont be depressed, being depressed sucks.
    we havent seen eachother in sooo long, we have to do coffee or something sometime im not even kidding.
    so text me or call me.
    heres my cell.

  13. Reply


    November 19, 2006

    aww brandon see EVERYBODY’S comments so far have been of like advice and stuff. those are good friends. i really hope things start looking up for you. if you need anything ever we’re here. by the way i love you

  14. Reply


    November 19, 2006

    scratch that i have no cell phone anymore

  15. Reply


    November 21, 2006

    Hey Brandon.

    It was good to see you the other night at Kelly O’s. Work just isn’t the same without you. No one asks about my happy face pancakes anymore and it makes me a little sad…

    But seriously… I know we havent actually known eachother for that long, but if you ever just need someone to listen, please just feel free to call me. Nothing would make me happier than to just be there for you if you need someone and yeah.

    Just take care of yourself… I’ll be praying for you.

  16. Reply


    November 24, 2006

    hey, awe being depressed is not fun.. o good 🙁

    lol try being happy though… happiness is really good. God loves you. hehe… have a great day. nd be happy. lol


  17. Reply


    November 25, 2006

    by the wayy. our driveway didn’t freeze last night. so instead of being the iciest driveway, it’s the cleanest!! woohoo. thanks. youre the best. i love you

  18. Reply


    December 3, 2006

    And… yeah, no. it doesn’t mean that it was a yes… it also doesn’t mean that I actually ended up doing what I thought I would do… and then ‘Rippy the Gator’ jumped out… and that’s about all I can think of to say for right now.