calgary is a negative. I went. I saw. I left. don’t get me wrong, it looks like a great place to be however, current and upcoming circumstances are preventing me from my immident departure, so it looks like I will be sticking around for yet a little while longer.
honestly though, I don’t want to be here. In fact, I don’t know if I want to be anywhere. I wish I could just cease to exist, just one day wake up and realize I didn’t.
life is stupid right now, not that anyone gives a flying f***. currently finding out who my true friends are and wow is it an eye opener. turns out you can’t really trust anyone…go figure.
I am finding myself injected with a new bitterness every day. I’m begining to hate everyone and everything and I don’t like it. at this point in my life, it would seem that I have been dealt a crappy pair of cards to win a game where everything is at stake. of course anyone who plays cards knows what that means. it means I’m forced to head in a direction I don’t want to take. I want to better my life but that’s a little hard when you don’t have one.
why am I writing down what I’m feeling for all to see? good question and one that I don’t really even know the answer to. perhaps informing everyone of how I’m feeling relieves some of the tention that I have growing inside of me.
anyways I’m going to go and do what I do. which is nothing.