It only goes to prove how true the saying is…that the world is a constantly changing place and until we learn to accept change, we will never be happy. and after all, when you think about it, that’s what were all after. everything we do is leading us to our ultimate desire and we alll know what our ultimate desire is.
listening to old music leads me to reminise in older times. times where friendships and relationships that are no longer exisistant, once thrived. but it’s not even like it matters anymore anyways. whats done is done, that’s it. you will never be able to go back to how things once were. I’m still having trouble coming to terms with that fact.
do I miss younger days? yes. in fact I spend more time then I should wishing for things to have never changed…but the reality is that they did, and theres nothing I can do about it. I was never meant to continue with certain relationships in my life. I was never meant to have this last job that I got fired from, for long. I was never meant to move to Calgary at this point in my life. things are playing out exactly as they were meant to, whether I realize that or not.
I have little or no regrets because I believe that every choice I made and everything that happened gave me experience, insight, wisdom and maturity…it gave me something to learn from. my biggest regret was that I could not force myself to love someone and now it’s too late. but I suppose because of that, it wasn’t meant to be either. on the other side of memory lane is the one person who I wanted so bad, but could never have and when I reached that realization, I also realized that it was not that person, it was simply the feelings I had for that person that made everything such a big deal. I realize now, it was never meant to be. amazing how blinding love truly is.
ps. I’m glad you care.
I want to be happy and thats it. it doesn’t matter if I’m rich or poor, smart or stupid, as long as I’m happy I am content. the only way to remain happy is to find the positive within all aspects of life, including the negative.
despite my understanding of how things will never be as they once were, I still crave for them to be…and that my friends, will be my downfall.
no matter how tough things get and whatever life throws at you man, you will always be able to push through and make it out on top. there is nothing that you can’t handle. everything happens for a reason, for a greater and deeper purpose that we might not yet understand. life will take you to place you never thought you would go. some places you wish you never went and some place that are where you want to be. like a song will echo a memory in your life so will things bring you back to what used to be. but you shouldn’t dwell on the past. you should focus on the present and plan for the future. what’s done is done and the only way to carry on is to not look back. out of all of this I know you will become a stronger and more mature person. you might not see it, but this whole thing has made you take a closer look at yourself and who you really are. you yourself have come to your own realization and right now both you and moneen are asking yourselves “are we really happy with who we are right now?”. only you know the answer to that question my friend. perhaps this time of change is more so for the better then for the worse. play some vids, take a nap, yell as loud as you can, play some music, listen to some music, go for a walk, go for a drive, punch a mattress, wrestle steve, take a shot and then…do what you have to do.