March 19, 2007

so no one uses their xanga anymore. everyone’s  moved onto myspace or something else. kinda makes me wonder why I still have mine.

I started a xanga way back when, simply for one person. someone I was in love with… but that was a long time ago. things have changed since then…so many thing have changed. life will never go back to being as it once was.

I am changing.

for the first time in life I feel as peace with the change that is taking place but also i”ve come to realize one thing.

I’m lonely.

I long for so many things. every one else seems content but I am not. searching for something. is it there? or is it not. heh I remember that way I used to feel when I was around you. I remember.

nervous. in love. afraid. excited.  i wanted to be with you forever. just to let you know…I haven’t felt that way about anyone since you.

you havn’t been on my mind in awhile, which is a good thing. its all burned you know. don’t know why I did it. I think I just felt it was the right thing to do.

In many ways I do miss you but I know that you are happy elsewhere and when it comes down to it, thats all I ever really wanted…and that was for you to be happy.

oh feelings come and go. I’ve learned that. some things last longer then others though. I remember a time in my life when all I wanted to do was spend the day with you…..but things have changed and I’m sure you’ll agree.

a few beers takes me into a contemplative mood. I enjoy it, as long as I’m careful. too many beers and it will be the death of me.

I don’t know why I ramble on about all of this. the past is the past. it’s over and done with but I can’t help thinking about once upon a time.

I crave it. I long for it.


lips to press mine against.
to say I love you.

soon…I can feel it. one day I will be in love again.

one day.

I love you all. stay safe and don’t grow up to fast.

I know that most of you don’t use xanga anymore but remember one thing…remember who you used to be and don’t let go.

when you get older….things get complicated. people get hurt.

but don’t let it happen. protect yourselves.

I’ll protect you…all of you.

stay safe.


February 20, 2007

March 30, 2007